Artist Statement- Cutting

Cutting is a performance piece that addresses the emotional detachment between my body and its functionality. My body has often been a vehicle for me to meet self-expectations. When it is leaner, stronger, and it looks how I want it to look, I feel accomplished and valuable. There are times when my body’s shape isn’t likable. During those times, for a second, I’ll forget my body’s functionality. I stop trusting it’s signals- cravings, hunger, the need to rest. Instead I remind myself that it’s healthy to exercise, to be conscientious of “bad” foods, to “stay in shape.” Despite feeling healthy, it is easy for me to convince myself that I could “do better;” the physicality of my body is something I can control. This mentality is a slippery slope that leads me into a paradoxically unhealthy fixation on my health. 

The idea of laying in my bed, an intimate space for me, and cutting the outline of my body shows the duality of my own perception of my body. The cutting can be a metaphor for setting myself free of my own expectations, or it could be seen as a deliberate effort to define my body’s shape. In a more literal sense, the cutting could mirror my tendency to cut certain foods out of my diet for lengths of time. Lying in this outline of my body could represent how I  choose to fill an empty gap in my overall contentment. My relationship with my body, my diet, and exercise is an extremely complex one that both empowers me and serves as a crutch. It can be fulfilling to set a new PR, cook healthy meals, and feel confident in my appearance. However, when other areas of my life are lacking, it can become all-consuming. Cutting is a performative form of this overall conflict. Its meaning is ever-changing and undefined.